Miss Piggy is coming to town and looking for some fun.... - w4m - 33

Ever wanted to have fun with a big sexy women? This is your chance. If you are into big butts and even fatter tights I will be the women for you ! I am 5'4 and 206 pound heavy and definitly know how to work this body....Interested? E-mail me, I will be in town from Nov 25 - 28....




WOW. Just wow. I mean, what else can be said?

average companion for LTR sex - w4m - 21

Hey I am Christine, thirty eight year old trashy girl in search of funny guy to engage in no hassle NSA sex. I am looking for a sexy friend with benefits and no more. I need a guy that isn't offended when I ask him to lick my asshole. I went out for drinks tonight and I'm looking for a guy with NSA. I'd love to get to know you so send me some pics and tell me some things about you.

What is with this woman? I think she suffers from low self esteem. First she says in her title she is "average". Then in the first line of her body she calls herself "trashy". Low self esteem or not, she is the first honest girl on CL! If you're not offended by her asking you to lick her asshole then by all means give her a call. Perhaps it could go something like this.
"Hello Christine?
Yes.
I'm answeting your CL ad. I'm an average trashy guy.
Great, will you lick my asshole?
Yea, I'm not offended that at all. By the way, can I punch your head repeatedly as we fuck?
Sure, I have no self esteem at all. I like ot be a punching bag.
OK, I am on my way."

Period Play ??? - w4m - 28

I have my period but I am still looking to play NO that does not mean I only want to blow you or give you a hand job lol I want my pussy licked and I want to have sex any one interested?? I have pics so drop me a line if you are up for your wings :)

Did she say "Are you up for your wings"? For some reason I was always under the impression that "blood wings" was a term only guys knew. I guess I stand corrected. I'm sure we are all very curious if this girl gets any responses. I know she will. This IS creepslist personal ads after all.

Here is a sample response she could get.

Hey period girl,
My name is Mike, but my friends call me Dracula. I am a vampire and i would love to drink your menstrual flow. I am single and live in a coffin in my moms basement. Call me: 1-800-ima-loser. This is a picture of me and my cat.





In closing, I would just like to add....WTF is this woman thinking?

Russian handsome Guys - 29

any handsome russian guys want to take me out on a date? please send me your picture and a few words about you.

Дата? Вы одеваете в вне первая дата? If not после этого вы изгоняете к Сибирю. Идет Wench!

Signed...
any handsome (or did she really mean"HAND-some") Russian guys

thrust into my clam ham, your love muscle - w4m

posted here because I'm getting tired of the bar scene. I'm looking for a man who is outgoing, smart and healthy. I need someone who likes to go out and have fun. If you have inquiries feel free to ask me in XXXXXX.website. I am not showing

Not much to say about this post really, but the title just struck me as funny. It amazes me the endless ways people can come up with to describe their "private parts". Clam ham? First time I heard that one!

desperate pregnat women - w4m - 19

I am a single pregnat chick looking for some hot cock one time and one time only.. if you have a big cock and ready to use it hit me up must have pic.. to get pic

I wonder how this girl got pregnant to start with? Sorry....I meant pregnat. Sounds better as pregnat. More redneck-ish. Hmmmm, redneck, banjos...Lets write a song!

Sung to the music of the Beverly hillbillies.

Come and listen to the story of a whorey little tramp
A cum starved mom who needed someone in her pants
Then one day while trolling for hot cock in her "pan"
Out from her crotch came another dysfunctional member of the clan.

Retard that is. Incest. Brain Damage.

Well, that's all I have time for now.
Thanks to Johnny-on-the spot for pointing this gem out to me!

Sunday brunch - w4m - 24

Hello, I’m in town for a wedding this weekend and would like to meet someone to explore the city with. I’m 27, a mortgage broker from Portland OR, single, and outgoing. I’m not into macho men that solely play on their looks. I’d like to met someone who is intelligent, laidback, and can make me laugh. Please send me an email if you’re interested in hanging out. A picture of yourself would also be appreciated. :) Mindy

WOW! I may contact this woman! I can't go wrong for 2 reasons.
1) As she states, she does not like men that play on their looks. Since I am a troll, I would be perfect for her.
2) My name being Mork may help me with this woman. (if you are not old enough to get this joke...)